Adventures in Cloth Diapering....

So now I am up to 30 diapers! WOW! I've got 12 Nubunz, 1 Sunbaby, 6 Bumgenius 3.0/AIO and 11 Bumgenius 3.0 pockets.
I am not so sure this was a good idea. I feel like we have spent a lot of money and are not reaping ANY benefits at this point! I have MAJOR leak issues, almost constantly. With both of the girls now, we only really had this problem at night, with baby #1, and on RARE occasions during nap. I now have BLOW OUT problems with both girls, this was a treat generally only rewarded to this mama by baby #2. I have STINK issues....super uncool! I also now have clothing issues, half of the stuff doesn't fit over these stinkin diapers!
So as I sit here and think back over the past several weeks, I have to say WTF was I thinking? Have I gone mad? Seriously, if I figure the amount of money that we have now spent, including purchases last night (hopefully hemp inserts are gonna help), I've probably got atleast $250 in if not more. That's 12 boxes of 144 diapers (target brand)! That is enough to last me several months! My water bill has DOUBLED! WHAT!!!!! And I now have a bigger problem because the HOT water will not hook up to the washer.
I keep thinking at some point it has to get better...right? But I find myself longing for the ease of disposables again. I don't want to give up on this, especially after having spent all this money! But is it me? Am I missing something here? Have I skipped a step and lost my way? I clearly didn't do enough research, I read a bunch of stuff. But there's just TOO much out there. Everyone has a different idea, solution, or routine. There's a million kinds of diapers out there. Which one is the best? Well...apparently that depends on your baby! WHAT!!! I want a diaper that will work! I want a diaper that will work on both babies, and any future babies. I don't want to spend buckets of money trying to find the "right" diaper or system.
I am at a loss. I am fed up.
I have entered COUNTLESS giveaways, in hopes that I will win some stinkin (not really stinking) diapers. I have yet to get anything for free. I keep thinking, if I win one maybe it'll be the ONE! And my search will have been completed. I will know what to do. I can sell all of these other diapers that don't work for us and buy that brand! But...my ship has yet to come in. So I sit irritated.
WHY did I do this? What was I thinking. I need help!

cloth diapering

Since we are, as usual up at 7 am, yet to go to bed, I've been "trolling" webpages. I've entered so many giveaways recently, you'd think I might actually manage to win something....anything....NOPE. But, I have learned quite a bit, and seen tons of differnet cloth diapers. There are so many cute choices out there. Not to mention tons of brands, how exactly does one choose? Well for my family the biggest factor is cost. We discussed switching to cloth while I was pregnant with out 8 1/2 mth old. Because our little girls are 12 mths and 5 days apart. Talk about a shocker! Anyway, we thought we'd be ok. We knew we would be spending a lot of money on diapers, but we thought it'd be easier on me to stay with the disposables. However, the cost ia insane, and the quality ever decreasing. The chemical smells are what finally sent me over the edge. After our last doctor visit, and vaccines I seriously believed there was something wrong with our youngest. The smells coming from the diaper could only be from her urine...wrong it was the diapers! We had been using Luvs for a long time, now they are thin and rough and leak like crazy! So I was already doing more laundry, as there was always blow outs and leaks (soaking in urine every morning!). Unfortunately due to finances we are still at 6 diapers. But, I am feeling satisfied with the choice. We are still mostly disposable at this point. Sharing 6 between the two girls doesnt last long. And I am having to triple stuff the night time diaper for my toddler. I definitely need to find a better way to get her thru the night. But it is so great to not find her floating away every morning!
I've been checking craigslist constantly, but a lot of people want more than I have to spend. And that's used! So I am having a hard time making the switch. Needless to say I could use some free diapers, or greatly reduced diapers. Some diaper/fluff charity! Here's to hoping I manage to win something! The diapers we got are Nubunz, and at the moment they are $4.50 for velcro and $5.00 for snaps. They've only got one color in snaps, and very limited in velcro. I'm afraid to go with too much velcro, as my toddler is crafty about taking off diapers!
So that's all for now I guess. LO is getting grouchy again.

sleepless nights.....

For the last 7 nights, possibly more the sleep issues have increased. My youngest now sleeps, at random times for 2 hrs, and then stays up for 5-8 hrs before finally giving in. The earliest Ive laid down for the 2 hr nap is 12am, the latest...well its almost 5, and we are still up. The earliest Ive been able to lay down for actual sleep was about 9:45. That only happens if her sister is still sleeping, ready for a nap (because she woke up at 5:30?!), or is at her nana's house.
I really dont understand it. She is visibly tired, and grumpy. Then magically wide awake again! Its bizarre to me. Thank God I get some sleep. But its no joke, sleep deprivation messes up your body, your functions, your stomach, pretty much everything.
Im really hoping that I get this straightened out soon!

Torture

So here I sit....my youngest slept for 2 hrs last night; from 12-2am. And has not yet felt the need to close her eyes since then! Then her sister woke up at 7:30. This is WAY early for her. This is going to be a great day.
I truly don't understand. There is no medical reason for the youngest to behave this way. Her belly is full, she is tired....so SLEEP! She won't sleep in her own bed, whether put down awake or asleep, instantly awake and screaming. I've managed to nurse her, so when she was very young I would nurse and then put her in the bassinet. However, she almost always woke up immediately and flipped out. Then I started falling asleep sitting up nursing her; so I started laying down and nursing her. At some point; I can't remember when she stopped sleeping at night, at all. There's an hr here or there at most. But there have been more of these all nighters for me than I can count on all my digits. I'm at the end of my rope. I need sleep, clearly if anyone does read this, you will see my thoughts are jumbled and I'm rambling. (I've always had problems with that, never did the punctuation right!)
I've tried leaving her in her bed, and CIO, doesn't happen. She escalates until she can't breathe. And in all honesty I'm not one for that method anyway. Brings back memories of nightmares...and standing silently next to my parents bed. Hoping my mom would wake up and make it all better. So it never goes well. When I've let my 20 mtg old CIO, even now, she escalates until she vomits.
Anyway, not sure what else to do. Short of drugging the kid...which just isn't going to happen. We've tried hubby giving her a bottle, atmost I think we got an hr out of that. She won't take a pacifier, in fact at night she fights back if we try to put it in her mouth. The only other thing I can think to try is pumping, and have hubby give her a bottle with cereal mixed in. Which is the idea my mom and sister had, because they know I'm about to lose it.
My house is a wreck, I'm lucky to find a way to shower, and cooking dinner...forget it. How? Sometimes I do manage that, and it really does make me feel so good...
Even though my current contribution is being a stay at home mom, and raising roué girls, sometimes it is hard to feel like I'm making a difference. Or that my contributions mean much. I guess that's what people mean when they say that being a mom can feel like a thankless job. We get to deal with all the attitudes, long and endless nights, the messes, being the bad guy...since we were home and said NO. I know the list goes on and on....
Thank God I have wonderful husband! If I didn't have him I know I would've lost my mind a long time ago he is so involved, and helps me because he loves me, how awesome is that. So while I sit moaning and whining, I have to remember it could be worse. I could be alone doing this, or with some of my ex's that were nasty human beings.

What the?

I have no idea what I am doing. I suppose I just decided that I'd go ahead and set this blog up, and post something. During my many sleep deprived nights recently I have been going after freebies. That led to creating a facebook page, which I never intended to do. I then decided to try cloth diapering, I've considered this in the past, but always thought it'd be too expensive upfront, and tons of extra laundry. However, I've been noticing a downward trend in quality of disposables and an upward trend in the price! So in my quest to learn more, I've found many FB pages with blogs attached, with great giveaways. I need all the help I can get! Both with the cost of the things, and trying different brands. So I created this blog, to follow their blogs. So here I am. I doubt this will have much on it, as I am fairly busy with my little ones.
When I do post things, it's almost guaranteed not to make a lot of sense. I haven't slept at night (not well anyway) in a VERY long time. I liken my current sleep situation to torture via severe sleep deprivation. My youngest is now 8 1/2 mths, and has yet to truly sleep at night. She tends to enjoy staying up until (in general) no earlier than 4am. However most days it's more like 6-8am. Which is SUPER cool, because I have a 20 1/2 mth old as well.
This week it happens to be worse, the baby is sick. Her nose is draining constantly, so she can't breathe well. And everytime I put her down she's really flipping out.
Oh well. There you have it a blog posting. Not sure if that's even what this is supposed to be!